Dear Rafikis!

Friendships are so key in achieving a sun-filled life. Platonic friendships are so important, we need girl and guy friends who will see us through life. In fact I think it is essential that we all take a girls trip once in our lives.

 Below are seven things that generally strain friendships.

1.Life happens.

Growing up I had two best friends and together we were inseparable.  In a heart beat I would tell you that either one of them would be my best maid at my wedding. Then  life happened, we grew up and ended up in three different continents.  I still have a lot of love for them but I haven’t seen any of them in more than half a year. If you asked me about what’s really going on in their lives I wouldn’t have a clue. No hard feelings, life just happened!

2. Romantic relationships challenge friendships.

We all know those boys and girls that cut off their friends as soon as they get new partners. It’s like new bae, new life! I totally understand that there a friendships that can be toxic for your relationships but at the same time  I do not think it is right to ditch your friends. Remember relationships can come go but some friendships are forever. I know it’s easier said than done, the sauce can be too sweet. I too have been guilty of this.

3. Emotions destroy friendships.

I have lost decent friends to the  friend zone.  It is difficult to build a strong friendship with a person of the opposite sex (if that is your cup of tea) because feelings are likely to be caught.  Once you begin to be attracted to your friend, it’s a trap. I really wish I had a guy best friend but that doesn’t ever seem to really work out for me. Shout out to vloggers like Lydia Dinga who is able to sustain platonic close friendships.

4. Jealousy ruins friendships!

This is particularly common amongst girlfriends, it’s like some women come out of the womb jealous. Your friend starts a business, you can never support! They start a blog, you can never share until you need them to do the same! They get into a relationship and you make it your mission to break them up! We all receive our blessings at different times and  until we realize that there is enough success to go around, so many friendships are going to go down the drain.

5. Communication Breakdown.

Just like romantic relationships I believe communication is important in friendships. I personally have lost friends because I remained silent when I felt the other party was negatively affecting me. Eventually everything blew up and our friendship  broke beyond repair. If someone hurts you tell them! When someone does something good for you , thank them! Use your words!

6. Gossip.

Chances are high that if someone can sit down with you and bad mouth someone else, they are badmouthing you to someone else. If a friendship is based purely on negative vibes it will crumble because it lacks a solid foundation. If you find that all you and your ‘friends’ do is gossip you should check your life. I was guilty of this in high school but now I have learned. I would rather spend time discussing future plans and how we can support each other than gossiping about the next person.

7.Big Mouths.

They are people who are like megaphones, they are always the first people to know what is going on in people’s lives. 8/10 times, they are updated about negative events in people’s lives. They announce  people’s bad experiences to everyone willing to listen. You wonder how they manage to know everyone’s business. “You know so and so’s parents did this…” , ” you know so and so is repeating”. Thanks for appointing yourself as CNN but no one asked you. I warn you against such people. If some one can share sensitive information about someone else to you, they can do the same about you behind your back. Don’t trust blindly!

Please comment and share your experiences with friends. Have you experienced any of the things I have mentioned above? Have I left out anything important? I am so eager to here back from you.

Until next time. Rafikis




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